were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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