hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I came so hard my ears popped.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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