All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
