She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
