can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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