I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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