i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I have already put on my inside pants.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
