your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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