HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
