I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
