Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
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The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
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I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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