Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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