The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
