I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
