Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
