Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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