there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
