I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
