Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
and she was petting her beer can
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
