I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
