...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
