I would go down on you faster than GM stock
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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