Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
