Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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