I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Two words: blizzard sex
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
