lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
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I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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