I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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