i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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