I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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