We're like a lot better than the average bears
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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