Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
