Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
