haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
