If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
