Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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