This is not my ceiling
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
