ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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