It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
