its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
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I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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