Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
