I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize