Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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