Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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