it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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