So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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