i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel