I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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