I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
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You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
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Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday