ADVERTISEMENT

• (352): View more from Florida

  Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.

  Fav 36 4894 1055

  share tweet
  

• (607): View more from New York

  How was dinner with ur grandparents?

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."

  Fav 18 1781 6952

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (727): View more from Florida

  In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.

  Fav 22 1275 4696

  share tweet
  

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing

  Fav 20 6499 1384

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.

  Fav 7 4910 1386

  share tweet
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"

  Fav 3 2971 1096

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (248): View more from Michigan

  Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."

  Fav 7 2002 780

  share tweet
  

• (805): View more from California

  We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"

  Fav 4 1898 768

  share tweet
  

• (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"

  Fav 11 2116 888

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (254): View more from Texas

  We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.

  Fav 5 1058 474

  share tweet
  

• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists

  Fav 5 1386 615

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (813): View more from Florida

  I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.

  Fav 6 475 977

  share tweet
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk

  Fav 2 476 527

  share tweet
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.

  Fav 2 562 441

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (847): View more from Illinois

  That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.

  Fav 1 27 11

  share tweet
  

Randomize