Can Purell be used as lube?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.