You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
