I think I died a long time ago.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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