ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
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