I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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