all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
