Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
