I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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