Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
