she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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