Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
