i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
