When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
