It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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