too bad you live with your parents still
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
