I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
