Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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