dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
