we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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