I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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