You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Randomize
