You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
