wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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