i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
